Hard Things 11/2/21

This morning as I walked the dogs back from dropping the garbage I took a moment to snap a picture of Biggest Betty tucked into her little camping spot.

Jason likes to say that there are campgrounds that are useful and there are campgrounds that are scenic. This one falls firmly in the useful category.

The spots are packed in like sardines. The majority of people staying here work at the petroleum plant across the road, and the freeway is right behind us. But it is close to family and is relatively clean - so it works.

We often get asked if we get to stay in really beautiful places all the time. We never really know how to answer this. Sometimes yes, we are over taken by the beauty of where are camping. But most often it is more utilitarian and meets our needs for work and safety. Either way we settle in and get to know our new neighborhood and our neighbors. There are lots of ways to define beautiful.

This morning it was cold outside and Jason and I had been pushing each others buttons all morning. He was on a call, so I took the dogs out for their morning break. As we turned to head back to the camper I stopped and took a picture of Biggest Betty in the fall light.

I had been thinking of hard things.

A hard thing that I had to do today.

Others hard things that had come up recently and had to be faced.

And how the movement of the fall leaves was helping me to remember that not all of life is about blooming.

Sometimes it is about letting go and going dormant for awhile.

It seems that now that I am in my fifties I am beginning to realize it is time to give voice to myself.

So I am practicing being brave in many directions. Practicing doing hard things.

Allowing myself to have feelings and even sharing them out loud.

Not being ashamed of my tears.

Sending my words out into the world in public ways.

Telling myself that I have the capacity to do hard things - even if I find myself shaking like the leaves in the process.